Yesterday, for only the second time in my life, I used a Japanese-style toilet in its intended manner.
(and here, for the sake of avoiding TMI, I will do my utmost to NOT use word squat, any reference to what goes in the toilet will be avoided as far as possible, and description will be kept to a minimum. Should I fail in not grossing everyone out, I apologize)
And by that I mean I used it for that which it is intended for, and not entirely by choice. You see both times I was forced through circumstances to use the Japanese-style toilets. First was before I realised there was a western-style toilet downstairs at city hall, albeit a western-style toilet where I can’t sit down without my knees hitting the wall. I used the toilet nearest to my office, and let me tell you, business shoes and suit pants are not ideal for the purpose. Let me tell you why:
There is an art to using a Japanese-style toilet. Basically it involves taking your pants off while keeping your shoes on. The reason you take your pants off is quite obvious (and I don’t think there’s a way around it) and the reason you keep your shoes on should be equally obvious. Now in theory this is good- no part of you ever touches any part of the facility except the toilet paper. You don’t have to sit on a seat millions before you have sat on. It is, in theory, far far more sanitary. Even in gross public toilets you can use the facilities without much worry, although you may have to bring your own toilet paper (which, I’ve been told, is what you use all the free tissue handouts for. No-one thinks to use them to blow their nose because it’s so impolite. NO, they just sniff loudly and openly, as if displaying this as a form of good hygeine, even when serving me at.a.restaurant)
Another unrelated offshoot of Japanese style toilets is that the men’s toilets are always closer to the entrance than the woman’s. Let me explain.
A few years ago a friend of mine complained that at every shopping centre in Australia the men’s toilets are past the women’s toilets, down at the end of the corridor. I developed a theory for this; urinals are easier to carry than sit-down toilets. The women’s toilets have a far lower urinal-to-toilet ratio, so therefore more things that are heavy and hard-to-carry. In Japan it’s the opposite, urinals are bigger and heavier than Japanese-style toilets, so the men’s toilets are first in the corridor and the women’s are further back. If you don’t believe me check it out next time you’re at a shopping centre, or anywhere with toilets down a corridor.
SO anyway, the second time was alright. It was in a set of facilities that I would have otherwise not liked to go in, but didn’t have to touch so it was alright. I was wearing thongs and loose shorts so getting the pants off (and back on) was easy, but there is still one thing I can’t agree with (and this is the only part with real danger of going into TMI territory) in Japanese-style toilets it’s all there below you. It all just sits there in the little ceramic trough. Smelly. Visible. Urgh. So glad my toilet at home is western-style, with a magic flap that makes everything disappear. And a water gun used to clean it when the flush isn’t enough. It’s also the warmest room in my house, and gets fantastic early morning sun. Great for reading the paper.
Is that TMI?
On the other hand this town is full of hippies who like eco toilets. They’re cool. Everything is eaten up by bacteria, and has a nice piney fragrance. I can dig that.
Edit: Another thing about toilets in Japan. Every single toilet, toilet fitting or piece of plumbing in this country is made by a company called Toto. Their company name is on everything. As such I cannot enter any bathroom without singing “Africa” in my head.
*I hear the drums echoing tonight, but she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation…*
